


Come Undone, Rise Again

by imtrikru



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Clexa, F/F, Femslash, Friendship, Kinda, Romance, Slow Burn, Trigedasleng, Violence, pre-season 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-10-06 03:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10324193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imtrikru/pseuds/imtrikru
Summary: After the fall of Mount Weather the Sky People get ready for an upcoming war against the Ice Nation. Queen Nia's plan is to wipe out Arkadia and then Polis and Lexa.The only way Arkadia can survive is with the Grounders help. With Lexa's help. But Clarke is still hurt by The Commander's betrayal.Pre-Season 3.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The story stars a few weeks after Season 2 finale. Clarke never left Arkadia after Mount Weather. Nothing from season 3 exists here. No nightblood, Titus, Pike, City Of Lights or any of that nonsense.

The Ice Nation.

They were the real and terrible enemy.

Just days after the fall of Mount Weather some Arkandians explorers were found dead near a lake shore. They all had white arrows on their bodies. It was a war declaration.

In the next days the attacks intensified. But it was like fighting against an invinsible enemy.

The Azgeda warriors were silent, fast and deadly. They could kill people without even being seen or heard.

A cloudy windy morning a dark bag was throw inside Arkadia with the decapitated heads of 2 guards. They had the Azgeda symbol carved on the foreheads.

After many heated discussions, the Sky People decided to ask for help. To the Grounders. To Lexa.

Clarke argued against it. Lexa was a traitor in her eyes. She betrayed them. Clarke couldn't do it. She couldn't ask Lexa for help. 

She betrayed her. She walked away.

No. She would never ask Lexa for help.

"You're the only one she would listen" Abby insisted.

Clarke shook her head "How can you ask me something like that? She betrayed us!"

"We know, Clarke" Abby argued "But the Ice Nation is marching right now against us! They have killed 5 of our explorers today!"

Clarke shook her head again and began to walk along the room.

"Clarke" Raven said calmly "We need the Grounders. We need Lexa"

"What makes you think she will help us?" Clarke spat angrily.

"She have to" Abby said almost desperate "She must"

 

...

 

The ride to the Trikru camp was silent and cold. Clarke could feel her blood boil at the sight of the commander's tent.

The day was grey and the wind shook the tree branches tinting everything with a spooky veil.

A tall strong guard observed the visitors. Clarke, Bellamy, Kane and Octavia.

_"Skaikru"_ the guard said simply.

Clarke moved uncomfortably on her horse.

"We need to talk with the commander" Kane explained.

"Heda won't recieve anyone" Indra said appearing suddenly beside the guard.

"This is important" Kane continued "We need her help"

Clarke clenched her jaw and Indra glared at her.

"You" the woman pointed at Clarke.

The blonde knew what that mean. Lexa would only recieve her and no one else.

"Let her pass" the commander's voice raised from behind her guards.

Clarke stared at Lexa seriously, feeling a wave of anger running along her body. Like feeling her inner turmoil the wind began to howl creepily. 

The Commander was unbothered standing there wearing her gear armor, with not trace of war paint on her face, her long braided hair moving along with the wind and and her green eyes fixed on Clarke.

"Clarke of the Sky People" Lexa said solemnly.

The blonde glanced briefly at her friends. Kane nodded at her and she dismounted. 

Lexa's eyes never left the blonde and she tilted her chin when Clarke reached her.

"Commander" Clarke said with cold courtesy.

Lexa left Clarke to walk in front of her while she ordered everybody to leave them alone to talk.

Once they entered the tent, Lexa began to talk. But Clarke didn't want to hear any excuses. She just closed her eyes for a second and turned around slapping Lexa in the face with anger and frustration.

The commander didn't looked surprised. It was like she almost expected that. She clenched her jaw and slowly rose her eyes to Clarke. She put her hand over her cheek for a moment.

A moment of silence fell upon them before Lexa broke it.

"I know you're mad" her tone was soft. Not a trace of anger, disgust or autority in her voice.

Clarke looked like she was ready to slap her again "Mad?" she asked with a growl of anger "You betrayed us. Leave us alone. You ran away like a coward"

Lexa gulped down "I did what was right for my people"

Clarke shook her head "You're a coward" she repeated walking slowly to Lexa "You're nothing but a coward"

A flash of anger passed through Lexa's eyes "I owe myself to my people, Clarke" she explained in a soft but angry tone "Just like you"

"I would never abandon somebody in need. Somebody in such a danger"

"I have to protect my people" Lexa began. Her tone was threatening, honest.

"And what about my people?" Clarke asked shrugging "Aren't they worthy for you?"

"It doesn't matter what is worthy for me, Clarke" Lexa confessed seriously "I have a duty. I'm the commander. My wishes are secondary"

Clarke looked taken aback. She stepped back and observed Lexa for a brief moment. She felt compassion and sadness toward her, because she was right. She was the commander and her mission in life was to protect her people. Her life consisted in that and only that. A dangerous, lonely life for sure.

Clarke shook away her sudden feelings angry with herself. She still was mad at Lexa and yet... 

She was ready to leave when Lexa grabbed her arm and made her to turn around. Their eyes fixed on each other.

"I had no choice" Lexa confessed. Her voice sounding like an apology "I understand if you hate me. I won't blame you. But I know you would do anything for your people. For the ones you love" her eyes were honest, Clarke was sure, and pierced right to her soul "Even for the ones you hate"

Lexa clenched her jaw again and left go Clarke's arm softly. The blonde looked at the commander, the Lexa she knew and turned around leaving the tent in hurry. She needed to breath fresh air. Her head was hurting and she felt something more. Something she refused to let go out of her.

Lexa observed how the curtains closed again with sad eyes.

 

...

 

At night, Lexa was sitting in the campament silently. Her eyes fixed on the dark sky. She observed the stars and suddenly felt a sting of sadness. The stars always remember her of Clarke.

For a second she remembered the anger, the pain, the hate in Clarke's eyes and words when she called her a coward. Maybe she was right. Maybe she was just a coward who hide behind her armor of commander. 

But what else she could so? She was the leader of her people. And she would be until her death. No matter how much she longed for Clarke, how much she desired to kiss her, to feel her, to see her laugh...Her only life was to be her people's commader.

"I do care, Clarke" she whispered into the darkness "I do care"

She clenched her fists feeling a lump in her throat. 

No. She didn't want to be weak. If she lived after Costia's death she would live through this. 

But the stars will always make her feel sad.

 

...

 

It started to rain when Clarke took a sit inside her bedroom with a slight sigh. She rubbed her temples. She still could see Lexa's face and her eyes full of worry and sadness.

"So?" Raven asked sitting in front of her.

Clarke raised her eyes to her confussed.

"How was the meeting with Lexa?" Raven asked.

Clarke raised her eyebrows and lowered her gaze "Not good"

"What?" Raven said in disbelief.

"Clarke" Abby appeared and walked to her daughter "What happened?" she asked without hesitation.

"She won't help us" Clarke said standing from the chair.

"Why not?" Abby asked.

Clarke shook her head.

Abby observed her daughter "We need her help. You know we do"

Clarke digged her blue eyes on her mother "Do you think I don't know it?" she replied irritated.

"Raven" Abby began kindly looking at the young girl "Why don't you go to check the power box? It's raining too hard"

Raven nodded "Got it" she said before leaving the small room.

"Clarke" Abby began sitting and offering Clarke another sit that she refused "What's wrong?"

"Lexa won't help us, I told you so" Clarke said pacing through the room.

"But I don't understand...She's in danger too. Her people are in danger too. She need this alliance as much as we do"

Clarke just shrugged and continued pacing.

Abby frowned "There's something you're not telling me, Clarke?" she asked making her daughter to look at her for a brief moment "What happened between Lexa and you? You're not acting yourself since...since Mount Weather" she said the last words very carefully.

Clarke clenched her jaw "She let us there" she said softly looking at the floor "I trusted her".

Abby could hear the pain in Clarke's voice. The rain was pouring outside.

"She thought that was the best for her people" Abby said.

Clarke glared at her "She betrayed us" she said offended.

"To save her people" Abby insisted. Before Clarke could speak again, Abby stood from the chair and walked to her daughter "I'm not apologizing her for what she did. But we all did bad things for our people at some point"

Clarke gulped. It still hurt so much.

"The Ice Nation Queen is coming with thousands of warriors" Abby warned her daughter "We need Lexa and her armies"

Clarke closed her eyes knowing her mom was right.

 

...

 

When the explorers returned they were soaked and exausted. They bowed before Lexa on the throne.

"Heda" one began "We saw movements down the Capitol Hill"

"Hundreds" said the other "Maybe more" he looked at the commander with a glimpse of fear in his eyes. Lexa couldn't blame him.

"Goyt says there's unusual activity near the lake and the Rise Mountains" Indra said beside Lexa "She's plotting something, Heda"

Lexa nodded "Where are Lisen and Pyn?" she asked Indra.

"On the Grey Rocks" the lieutenant replied "They'll be here with the first light"

Lexa clenched her jaw "Make them come" she said standing "We'll need all our warriors"

A guard entered the tent and bowed "Heda" he said nervously "The Sky People are here"

Lexa frowned. She glanced at Indra and then at the guard. She sat on the throne again and put her hand over the pommel sword she had on her waist "Let them pass"

Clarke entered followed by Bellamy and a couple of guards of their own.

"Clarke of the Sky People" Indra began with contempt 

Lexa had her eyes fixed on the blonde who had to tore away her gaze unable to look at the commander.

"These are your bodyguards?" Lexa asked seriously.

Clarke looked at Lexa "No. They're my people"

Lexa roughed out a smile "You don't trust us"

It wasn't a question.

"Not anymore" Clarke replied a little too harsh.

"Careful" Indra warned caressing the knife on her hand.

"Did you came here in the middle of a storm just to insult us?" Lexa asked seriously.

Clarke shallowed. She knew she need Lexa's help but the pain...

"We need your help" Bellamy said "We're in trouble"

Lexa put her sword against the throne's arm "Just like us"

"The Ice Nation Queen..." Clarke began

"Her troops touched land about three days ago" Lexa announced.

Clarke looked at her in disbelief "Why you didn't tell me?"

"When? How?" Lexa said irked "You didn't want to listen. And you wouldn't believed me anyway"

"We need to join forces" Bellamy said "Work together"

Lexa observed the boy and then glanced at Clarke who looked away "I have a condition"

Bellamy and Clarke exanched questioning looks.

"What is it?" Bellamy asked.

"Your camp will shelter my people" Lexa said "Elders, babies, kids, injured...those who can't fight"

Clarke looked at Lexa in disbelief "No"

Lexa stared at Clarke with surprise.

"Clarke" Bellamy said to the blonde.

"Then" Lexa began angrily "There's no deal. No alliance"

"What are you doing?" Bellamy asked " We need them"

"It's probably a trap" Clarke said glancing back at Lexa "You can't trust them"

Indra walked to Clarke with the knife on her hand.

_"Hod op, Indra!"_ Lexa ordered standing from her throne, her eyes fixed on Clarke "You have made your choice, Clarke. Now go"

Clarke turned around without hesitation followed by Bellamy when Lexa's voice stopped them

"What she will left of your people, of your camp, won't be bigger than a pebble" her tone was frightening and Clarke turned slowly to look at her. Something was telling her Lexa was honest "She will massacre you all. You don't have any chance against her"

Clarke looked at Lexa one last time before leaving.

 

...

 

The sky was plumbeous. Thick grey clouds covered everything and the sun hadn't even appeared that morning. Some tiny drops of rain were falling timidly.

Lexa rose her eyes to the sky like silently searching for some kind of comfort. Her jaw clenched and her hand moved to the handle of the sword on her waist trying to find strength and calm.

She heard them before her eyes saw them. They were only about twenty , all of them strong men and women, pale, with fierce faces and heavily armed. Nia appeared behind them. Her face was pale, painted with dark lines over her cheeks and chin. Her hair was light blonde, almost white. Tall and imposing, the Ice Nation Queen walked slowly to Lexa, who was surrounded by guards with Indra on her right side.

The Grounders agreeded to a meeting in a plain with the Ice Nation Queen. It was the last hope to avoid the war that was coming.

_"Leksa"_ Nia's voice cut like a sharp knife and was cold as ice. She put both her hands over the pommel of her long dark sword. Her face was impassive.

Lexa took a step foward followed closed by Indra "Nia" she said coldly.

The Ice Nation Queen outlined something that could be a cruel smile or a threatening gesture. Either way it was scary.

"I prefer Queen" she spitted venomously with that cruel gesture dancing on her lips.

"You're not on your land, Nia" Lexa replied with cold anger, her hand still on her sword "You're not our Queen here"

A flash of rage and surprise passed on Nia's eyes. Her smile faded. "You wanted to talk" she began dryly "Talk"

Lexa clenched her jaw again "I want to make a deal" she explained "Some alliance of no harm between my people and yours"

The Ice Nation Queen didn't looked surprised. Instead she looked amused. "You're getting bland, _Leksa"_ she spat "Did those Sky People drained you courage? Did they make you a coward?" she laughed cruelly. All her guards laughed and howled scornfully.

Lexa had to contain herself to not start the inevitable war right there in that moment "I thought you were wiser, Nia" she replied with an angry growl. Nia looked at her seriously "Neither of us want a war. Neither of us can handle it right now"

"I can handle it" Nia said amused "I love war" she declared with coldness "And I would love to cut that nice head of yours. Like Costia, remember?" her voice was venom "Did you liked my gift?"

Lexa's whole body was tense like a wire and her eyes were injected in blind rage.

Nia smiled again "I'm not going to kill you. Not yet" she finished showing her white sharped teeths in a dangerous smile "Those Sky People comes first. Once they're dead..." she whispered only to Lexa "I'll came back" she said gesturing to her guards. They began to walk away "And we'll finish our talk"

Once they left the plain, Indra got closer to Lexa "Heda" she said seriously.

But Lexa's eyes were fixed on the spot where the Ice Nation Queen had walked away.

 

...

 

The rain was pouring outside and inside Lexa's tent everything was noise and caos.

Indra was talking about a plan b. A plan where they attack the Ice Nation people before dawn by surprise. Lincoln was shaking his head and trying to convice everyone that they need to help the Sky People.

"We can't just let them die!" he protested "Octavia is there!"

Indra tired to calm him down while Lexa stood from the throne and walked to the table where all the maps and plans where presented. A momentary silence fell upon the tent as the Grounders followed the commander with their gazes.

Lexa roamed her eyes along the table without saying a word.

"Heda" Indra began

"I know what you want, Indra" she said with tired voice "But we can't attack in the middle of the night surrounded by darkness and traps" she ended turning around and looking at her second seriously.

"Commander" Lincoln tried

Lexa raised her hand to stop him from talking "I know what you want too, Lincoln"

Lincoln looked at the commander in the eyes. He was scared "I'm going to help them" he confessed seriously.

Lexa nodded "I know you will" she simply said.

"Hundreds" Indra began again "Maybe thousands of Nia's men are surrounding the Sky People's camp. Are we going to let them die?"

Lexa looked at the table again. Her eyes fell upon Camp Jaha "Death is not the end" she whispered like to herself.

"Heda?" Indra asked confused.

Lexa touched the handle of her sword and closedher eyes for a brief second. Clarke's face appeared in front of her. She wasn't mad or sad anymore, instead she was smiling softly. Lexa opened her eyes again and turned around to look at her officials. A look of determination in her eyes.

 

...

 

The noise of the rain falling over the metallic structure was mixed with the roars and screams the Ice Nation People were making outside the electrified fence. They got the camp besieged. 

Everybody who could fight and shoot a gun was ready for the battle. Clarke was holding her riffle under the rain with her blue eyes fixed on the men and women outside the camp. Terrible and fierce and bloodthirsty.

The blonde blamed herself more than anybody could. She hated herself for rejecting Lexa's help and offer. She hated herself for letting her madness to ruin everything, and especially hated herself for still thinking about Lexa.

She sighed. The breath formed a small white cloud in that cold rainy night.

"Get ready!" Bellamy shouted to his people "Once they break the fence, shot and don't think!"

Octavia was by his side. She keep believing the Grounders will appear, but Clarke was sure they won't. She put the riffle on her shoulder and looked through the eyehole.

"Don't hesitate!" Kane instructed "They won't do it"

Clarke took breath right before the fence was broke and the bullets began to fly. The caos that followed was overwhelming and indescribable.

The screams of pain and fear. The sound the flesh make when a bullet shatter the skin and bones. The begs of help of the wounded and the cries of the dying. Everything was a slaughterhouse and soon Clarke and the other realised they were losing.

They began to withdraw inside the old Ark's fuselage when a thunder tore the sky. A little orange light appeared far away, on the road outside the fence. 

An arrow flew from the darkness and nailed on one of the Ice Nation people's throat, right before he crossed with his sword a Sky People man's chest. Another thunder illuminated the sky again and Clarke saw the torches. She helped the man to stand up and saw how hundreds of horses crossed the broken fence while the riders and those who where running began to play their horns loudly.

Octavia ran to Clarke with a bright smile "I told you!" she said.

Clarke herself was amazed and shocked, but the Grounders were there with Lexa to the head of the column of riders.

"Take the wounded inside!" the commander instructed her men with her sword dripping blood. Her eyes met with Clarke's ones for a brief moment. The brunette nodded and Clarke responded.

"Help the wounded!" Clarke said to her people.

"Regroup!" Indra ordered.

The riders charged again and killed and wounded many Ice Nation warriors. Lexa and the rest dismounted. They palmed the horses and the animals run away to their homes on the mountains without problems.

The Sky People and the Grounders formed a huge column. Lexa's eyes were looking fo Nia. But she wasn't there. 

The battle that followed was fierce and bloody. Bellamy was cut on the leg and had to retire inside the Ark along with Monty, Jasper and many others. Lincoln was hit on the head and fell on the mud unconscious. Octavia and Clarke helped him to get inside. The blonde turned around to see Lexa fighting with a pale man way taller than her.

"Lexa!" Clarke called the commander "Inside!"

Lexa nodded and ordered his men "Inside!" she said "Inside now!"

But what Lexa wasn't expecting seeing was Raven on the battlefield. She was on her back coughing and the face covered in blood and mud. A pale Ice Nation man was hovering over her with a cruel smile and a long bloody knife on his hand.

"Raven no!" Clarke screamed hopelessly. She ran desperately to help her friend while Octavia screamed at the blonde to stop.

"Clarke!" Lexa called. She buried her sword into the Ice Nation man's stomach making him spill blood from his mouth and fall dead at her feet. Then ran behind Clarke calling her name. A couple of grounders ran to the commander's side. Indra began to run too.

"Go inside and help with the wounded!" Lexa told her running after Clarke.

"Heda!" Indra protested.

"Go!" Lexa yelled.

Indra did what she was told and helped Octavia with Linclon and other wounded.

Lexa overtaked Clarke and fell over the Ice Nation man making him stumble and fall to the mud. The grounders fell over him.

Lexa stood from the mud and turned to Clarke who was kneeling in front of Raven.

"Raven" Clarke said holding her friend on her arms.

"I'm...I'm fine" Raven said with difficulty "I'm not hurt"

"Take her inside" Lexa said to the blonde right before being knock over by the Ice Nation man who was trying to kill Raven before. The two grounders he had killed were lying on the mud.

"Lexa!" Clarke said affraid.

The commander stood from the mud limping a little. Her sword firm in her hand and a deadly glare on her eyes.

The Ice Nation man launched lunges at Lexa who avoided the blade the best she could. Clarked helped Raven to her feet and looked at Lexa desperately. An Ice Nation woman appeared from nowhere and took Clarke by the hair putting her sword on the blonde's throat. Raven fell to the mud with a yelp of pain. 

Octavia, Indra and other ran to the girls. Lexa glared at the woman threatening Clarke.

"Put the sword down" the woman said to Lexa with raspy voice.

Lexa looked at Clarke who was shaking her head "No" the blonde pleaded "No"

The commander put her sword over the mud and in a quick movement threw the dagger she had on her waist to the Ice Nation woman's arm. She yelled when the blade dig on her forearm and released Clarke. The blonde took the woman's sword and buried the blade on her chest.

Lexa took her sword again and cut the Ice Nation man on the cheek. The blood ran down his face and neck and his glare was pure ice. Her ran to the commander with rage and they engaged in a strong fight. The man spined up on his feet and sank his knife's blade on Lexa's arm. The commander cried in pain and the man twisted the knife cutting her longer and deeper.

"Lexa!" Clarke screamed horrified.

"Heda!" Indra shouted behind her.

Lexa took a shaky breath and took off the knife out of her arm. The blood began to ran down her arm and hand. The drops falling down covered the mud in a red tone. She gasped and fall over the man like a hurricane. Her sword cut the man's fingers of one hand making him yell and step backwards. Lexa glared at him while her arm keep bleeding more and more. She screamed and buried her sword on the man's chest. The blade go through the back killing him quickly. She took off the sword and looked at Clarke through cloudly eyes.

The commander fell down on her knees with a gasp. The sword slipping out of her hand. And her left arm and hand completely bloody. She could heard Clarke's voice calling her name and lying her down onto the mud, putting her hand over the deep cut and calling for help. But the noises were so low and distant.

She took a weak breath and the last thing she saw was Clarke's face hovering over her with tears in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation
> 
> Hod op, Indra! - Stop, Indra!


	2. Chapter 2

"Help!" Clarke screamed in despair "Help please! She's bleeding out!" her voice broke and she didn't even noticed she was crying. But the tears were running down her cheeks helplessly.

Abby ran to her daughter and saw Lexa lying on the mud. A huge pool of blood was by her arm's side. Clarke was kneeling by the commander's side trying desperately to stop the bleeding with her hands, which were already soaked in blood.

Indra knelt too and took out her knife with sad expression. She grabbed a fist of Lexa's hair when Octavia stopped her.

"What are you doing?" the girl asked.

Indra looked at Octavia with sad eyes "Is our tradition" she said softly.

"She's not dead" Clarke said with shaky thick voice, glaring at Indra.

Abby knelt beside Lexa. She was deadly pale, Clarke was shaking and Raven was trying to comfort her. Abby checked the commander's pulse. The silence was overwhelming.

"She's not dead" Abby announced "But she will be if we don't do something soon"

The travel to the Arkadia nursery was eternal for Clarke, who still had her hands over Lexa's wound. There were hundreds of wounded. When the grounders saw Lexa entering inside the nursery and Indra and Clarke's faces they lowered their heads in silent. Some of them knelt and put their hands over their hearts as a mourning sign.

Abby instructed Clarke, Octavia and Raven about what to do. She rose up her eyes and looked around the nursery "Does anybody knows who type of blood she has?" she asked while she filled a syringe with a clear liquid.

Clarke shook her head still with her hands over the wound "They don't know what a type of blood is, mom" she said staring at Lexa who looked at the verge of death.

Abby looked at the grounders helplessly "Does she has family? Anybody blood related?"

"No" Indra intervened looking down at Lexa.

"Use mine" Clarke offered seriously.

"Or mine" Octavia offered too.

Abby shook her head and injected the clear liquid on Lexa's right arm "That's too risky" she explained "Our blood is different"

"Yeah, it cured the mountain people" Clarke inisted "use mine"

"But this is different, Clarke" Abby looked at her daughter "She'll have a chance if the blood comes from her clan, for example"

"Mine" Indra said making everyone to turn around "What I have to do?"

Octavia smiled proudly at Indra and Clarke nodded with watery eyes "Thank you" she said honestly.

"Sit down" Abby instructed offering a chair to the warrior "reach out the arm. That's it" she said gesturing to Raven who went to her side with a transparent plastic bag she hung up on the wall "Don't make any move and keep the arm streched and firm" Abby said taking a needle and digging it on Indra's vein. The woman didn't even flinched.

Abby turned around and looked at Clarke "Let me see that"

The blonde moved her hands from Lexa's wound and the blood keep flowing.

"Cut the sleeve" Abby instructed "completely"

Clarke did what she was told and cut the sleeve until the shoulder. The fabric was soaked in blood.

Abby took a look at the wound. It was really deep and large. She began to clean the wound and grinned a little looking at Clarke "The blood is coagulating. That's good"

"What does that mean?" Indra asked.

"It means that she won't bleed out. But she need the transfusion quickly" Abby explained.

Clarke looked at the plastic bag that was slowly getting filled with Indra's blood. It was half filled. She then looked at Lexa. Her face was covered in mud, blood and her war paint. The blonde took a rag and moisted it in water. She began to clean the commander's face. Octavia and Raven looked at her in understanding. Abby observed her daughter and the look in her eyes. The woman sighed finally understanding many things. She then began to sew Lexa's wound.

Lexa moved slighty and her grunt was almost inaudible.

"Lexa?" Clarke said hopeful. She grabbed the commander's hand without realising.

"I sedated her, Clarke" Abby said "She won't wake up for now"

But Clarke couldn't help but let out a watery tiny smile. 

She would live. 

Lexa would live.

 

***

 

The sunset over the river was a beautiful vision from where she was standing. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She felt happiness and peace for the first time in a long time. The crystalline water reflected the last traces of the blue from the sky and she heard a laugh behind her. She turned around but nobody was there. She frowned and heard somebody calling her name. It came from the sky. Looking up she saw the first stars appearing and the sky turning slowly dark. She felt how her body began to get warm again. It was a nice feeling. She could move her legs and arms again. With a little smile she looked up at the sky filled with stars.

When her eyes slowly opened she didn't knew where she was. Her vision was a little blurred and unfocused. She needed a moment. She closed her eyes and tried to move. A hiss of pain escaped her lips.

"Lexa?" A voice called beside her.

She tried to open her eyes again. Her blurred vision began to clear and she saw her. Clarke hovering over her. Then remembered everything. The battle, the pain, the feeling of slipping away without wanting.

"Where..." she tried with raspy and clumsy voice "Where I...am?"

"You were hurt" Clarke explained slowly "You're in the nursery"

Lexa swallowed "Indra" she said laboriously.

"I'm here, Heda" the woman replied behind Clarke.

"Nia" Lexa said exhausted.

"Nobody saw her" Indra explained "The Ice Nation warriors withdrawn. To the shore of White River, our trackers told"

Lexa closed her eyes tiredly. Her head was beginning to hurt. She licked her lips "Water" she requested slowly.

Clarke put a small cup on Lexa's lips "Easy" she said when the commander began to drink. She began to cough and Clarke cleaned her lips with a tissue.

"Thank you" Lexa said honestly.

Clarke smiled a little putting the cup on a nearby table "You should rest"

Lexa closed her eyes with a tired sigh "No" she said trying to incorporate on the stretcher. She growled feeling the pain on her arm.

Clarke ran to her side "What are you doing?" she asked worried.

"She'll attack again" Lexa explained with another growl.

"You can't move" Clarke said "You're too weak"

Lexa gazed at the blonde. Her blue eyes were filled with concern and she had big dark circles showing that she hadn't sleep at all "The war..." she began.

"Forget the war for now" Clarke said with autority "You need to rest"

Lexa lied down again " Indra" she said licking her lips.

The woman got closer to the commander.

"Organize the defense of the camp. And send trackers to the hills and the river" Lexa instructed "You're my second" she said looking at the woman "You're on charge"

Indra nodded and left the room.

When Indra left, Clarke put her hand over Lexa's forehead gently.

"What are you doing?" Lexa asked looking up at the blonde without understanding.

Clarke smiled a little "Checking if you have fever"

Lexa could feel the warm emanating from Clarke's hand and grew uncomfortable. She noticed she has a transparent wire on her right arm "What's this?" she asked confused moving the arm.

Clarke smiled again "Antibiotics" she explained moving her hand from Lexa's forehead "It will prevent the infection on your wound"

Lexa looked at her bandaged arm. Still hurt and burn but she didn't want to show herself as weak. She looked at Clarke again and saw a little scar on the blonde's neck.

"You were hurt" she said worried pointing at the scar.

Clarke touched her neck "Yes" she said "Is just a scratch"

Lexa stared at her and Clarke looked away. The commander eyes were filled with concern and the blonde felt oddly uncomfortable under gaze.

"How she's feeling?" Abbys asked entering the room.

Clarke lowered her gaze and scrathched her neck nervously "Fine, I guess"

"I have to stand up. See my people" Lexa said.

"You're people are being take care of" Abby explained observing the commander's bandaged arm "And you need to rest for now"

Lexa sighed.

Abby checked Lexa and instructed Clarke before leaving. When the two girls were alone again Clarke glanced at the brunette lying down and how her face contracted in pain. 

"I'm sorry" the blonde said softly.

Lexa opened her eyes and focused them on Clarke "It's not your fault" she said honestly trying to find a more comfortable way to lay.

"I'm sorry for slapping you" the blonde confessed guilty "And for not listening and being so rude"

Lexa swallowed "We all make mistakes, Clarke" she reassured the blonde "I'm sorry too" green eyes met blue ones.

"Thank you for helping us" Clarke began honestly "For saving our lifes"

Lexa clentched her jaw. The blonde was really sorry but Lexa had to be honest with her "She'll attack again" she said making Clarke to look at her "We're not safe yet"

 

***

 

The man had a eye-patch on one eye and the face and body covered in blood and mud. He knelt before the Ice Nation queen.

"My Queen" he began with deep voice.

Nia looked down at him with no expression.

"It was like you said" he said "The commander went to help the Sky People"

A little smile appeared on the queen's lips.

"And there was a girl" the man continued "Blonde, blue eyes" he looked up at the queen "Her name is Clarke"

Nia smiled pleased.

 

***

 

After a couple of days lying down Lexa was tired and tried to stand on her feet. She needed Clarke's help and even then she felt her vision blurring and her head pounding.

"Are you ok?" Clarke asked worried. She had Lexa's right arm over her shoulder.

Lexa nodded and gulped "I'm fine, Clarke" she said half lying. Her left arm was band up from her wrist to her shoulder. She was carrying the injured limb on a sling.

"The cut was too deep and large" Clarke explained "You almost bleed out"

Lexa glanced at the blonde "I remember your face, your hands over the cut" she gulped again "That was the last thing I saw. The last memory I have"

Clarke didn't know what to say. She remember that too. How the tears had fall down her cheeks helplessly. She was sure Lexa was going to die. It was a scary memory.

"Thank you" Lexa said fixing her tired eyes on Clarke "You saved my life"

Clarke looked away "You saved all our lifes"

Lexa gulped "I need to see my officials" 

"You're not recovered yet" Clarke objected.

Lexa was tired of lying down and of all the medical instructions "She'll attack again, Clarke" she began talking about Nia "We need to trace a plan"

Clarke knew it was pointless to argue with Lexa and telling her for a million time that she needed to rest and recover. Instead she sighed and helped the commander to get out of the nursery. The Grounders who saw her muttered Heda as the commander passed by them. Clarke observed how a few of them smiled and bowed their heads.

When they arrived the room filled with Lexa's officials and some of the Sky People, the commander asked Clarke to let her get inside by herself. The blonde knew the Grounders didn't torelate weakness, and much less in their own commander.

"Heda" Indra said nodding.

"What makes you think the Ice Nation Queen will attack again?" Bellamy asked point-black. The boy was limping and still had a bandage on his leg.

Lexa glared at him "She's not done yet" she answered simply.

"And what she wants?" Marcus asked.

Lexa stared at the man "Everything" she declared.

A tense silence filled the room.

Clarke swallowed "We need a plan" she intervened.

Marcus shook his head "And what we can do? She have thousands of warriors"

"We need a plan to deffense ourselves, Marcus" Abby told him.

"Our trackers saw movement on the river and the hill" Indra said "Our guess is that she's planning to attack during the night. Today or tomorrow"

"We should form a circle with our best shooters" Clarke said.

"And repair the electric fence" Abby nodded.

"I'm working on it" Raven added.

Lexa closed her eyes. She could feel her head pounding and hurting "It won't be enough" she ran her green eyes along the people gathered there "She wasn't here when her warriors almost tore this place apart. When they almost killed you all" everybody stared at the commander "And they were only the vanguard. The expendable ones. A few part of her army. It was a demonstration, a little game she play with her enemies before massacring them"

The silence fell upon the room again.

"And what we can do?" Abby asked Lexa. The girl was so young. And she was leading her people and trying to protect and save them. It was insane.

"We resisted then and we will resist now" Clarke said trying to encourage everybody.

"We barely made out alive" Bellamy said "And only because the Grounders helped us"

Lexa clenched her left hand. She felt a stab of pain running up and down her arm. She wasn't in good shaped to fight.

"We can start fixing the electric fence, ok?" Abby offered and looked at Raven. The girl nodded and left the room.

"Heda?" Indra asked.

Lexa's eyes looked at her second

"Is that what you order?" 

Lexa clenched her jaw. She saw how Clarke nodded at her silently telling her to go on with the plan.

"Yes" Lexa said finally "Keep your eyes open"

When everybody had left the room, Lexa noticed Clarke was still there. The blonde was waiting to help her to come back at the nursery. They walked in absolute silence. Lexa felt how her wound had debilitated her. She was tired and sore and felt her throat dry.

"If something goes wrong" she began looking at Clarke "Guide your people to the west. To Mount Weather. You all can resist there for a time"

Clarke felt a shiver running along her body remembering the mountain and what happened there. She helped Lexa to go to the bed but the brunette didn't lay down. She was staring at the blonde.

"We won't run away" Clarke said finally "We'll fight. Together, ok? Your people and my people"

Lexa gulped "Save yourself, Clarke. This is a war neither of us can win"

Clarke looked taken aback by Lexa's words. She couldn't believe her "You're afraid" she said shocked.

Lexa swallowed. Her green eyes fixed on Clarke's blue ones. Of course she was afraid "Yes" she admitted softly "I don't want you to get hurt, Clarke. Or something worse"

Clarke took a step back unable to face Lexa so close. Her green eyes filled with honesty and concern were piercing her right to her soul. 

"You said we shouldn't be afraid of death" Clarke began "That death was not the end"

"That was before" Lexa admitted.

Clarke felt her breath caugh in her throat "Before what?" she asked.

Lexa just stood there staring at Clarke. She clenched her jaw and swallowed.

"You" the commander said seriously.

Clarke stared at Lexa with surprise. She took another step back. Those green eyes were looking at her with so much emotion and...Clarke shook her head. She turned around and left the room leaving Lexa alone. The brunette sighed and closed her eyes.

 

***

 

Sitting alone outside the Ark's fuselage, Clarke sighed. Her breath formed a small white cloud in the cold air. Her eyes looked up, at the dark sky, somehow asking for strengh. She closed her eyes for a moment and saw Lexa's face. She sighed again. She heard foosteps and swallowed.

"Are you ok?" Bellamy asked sitting by the blonde's side. He winced flexing his injured leg.

Clarke just nodded.

"What's the plan? After Raven fixed the fence, I mean" Bellamy tilted his head to Raven and Monty and a half a dozen more people working not stop.

"I don't know" Clarke said honestly. Her eyes fixed on the fence.

Bellamy nodded understanding Clarke's dark mood "We will win, Clarke"

The blonde looked at him "And if we don't?"

Bellamy frowned and shook his head "Then, I guess we're lost"

Clarke stood still looking at the fence "Go to the west"

"What?" Bellamy asked confused.

"To Mount Weather" Clarke said walking forward "Guide the people there"

"What are you talking about?" Bellamy said standing too "Clarke?"

But the blonde was already on the fence. Raven was lying on the mud welding something. She was protecting her face and deeply focussed.

"Clarke" Abby said to her daughter making her to turn around 

"If we could speak with the Ice Nation Queen..." the blonde began

"It won't change anything. You've heard Lexa. She want us dead, Clarke"

Clarke didn't wanted to accept that reality. Maybe if they could offer her something she wanted...or someone.

"You know this not gonna work" Clarke said lowly.

Abby grabbed her daughter by the arm and took her away from the fence "And what you want us to do? We need to keep the spirit high, Clarke. We need our people to believe everything will be fine"

Clarke shook her head "They broke the fence and they will break it again. It's all in vain, mom"

Abby stared at her daughter in shock.

They heard a crack in the woods and looked there. They saw a man tottering with his hands over his bloodly stomach. He fell on his knees.

"A grounder" Clarke said startled "One of Lexa's trackers, possibly"

Abby ordered to open the fence. Clarke walked behind her mom and both knelt by the man's side. He was bleeding out from an inmense cut on his abdomen and was fighting to breath. They laid him down and Abby was ready to scream for help when the man stretched a trembling hand and pointed at something behind the trees.

They fell over Abby and Clarke suddenly. Four strong, pale Ice Nation men gagged their mouths. Clarke tried to scream but all was in vain. They put a hood over the women's heads and everything turned dark.


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa grabbed her sword. It felt more heavy than before, she thought. Or maybe she was feeling more weak. She clenched her jaw and moved the sword, cutting the air. She pondered the weight one more time. She felt so useless and weak in that moment. Her people was the most important thing to her. It was the moment to guide them to the victory or to a terrible dead. Either way she was the commander and it was her duty.

But...she also wanted to save Clarke and her people.

 _Clarke_ she thought sadly. She closed her eyes slowly for a moment. Loud voices outside the nursery made her to turn back with a serious face. Bellamy stormed into the room followed by many others, including Indra.

"Heda" Indra began serious "We have problems"

"They took them!" Bellamy said altered.

Lexa frowned "Who? What happened?"

"Clarke and Abby" Marcus explained "The Ice Nation people took them"

Lexa felt how her heart stopped for a second. She had to took breath feeling her lungs collapsing. She licked her lips. Her head was spinning. She tightened her grab around the pome of her sword.

"Indra" she began "convoke a dozen of warriors and give me my clothes and armor". She took off the sling and stretched her wounded arm. She couldn't care less about the pain in that moment.

Indra nodded and left the room.

"What are you gonna do?" Marcus asked wrorried.

"I'm going to find Clarke and her mother" Lexa declared. Her green eyes sparkling with rage "And I'm gonna kill the Ice Nation queen"

Bellamy nodded and took a step forward "I'm going with you"

Lexa stared at the boy for a long time. Finally nodded.

"I'm going too" Octavia announced.

 

***

 

Clarke felt cold when she was forced to kneel. When they took off the hood out of her head, she narrowed her eyes and blinked many times. She saw her mom kneeling beside her and tried to talk, but the binding on her mouth didn't let her.

"Clarke of the Sky People" a cold, harsh voice announced.

Clarke tensed and looked around. They were inside a dark place.

"Is a pleasure to meet you" Nia said stepping out of the darkness. With her pale skin and her clear hair it was like a ghost. Something sprectral. Her mouth was twisted in a scary smile.

Two men took off the bindings from Clarke and her mother. But they still were kneeling and their hands were tied up behind their backs.

"What you want from us?" Clarke asked roughly making the Ice Nation queen smile.

"I guess you know who I am" Nia said pleased.

Clarke struggled with the ties on her hands and Nia raised a hand.

"You don't want to do that, Clarke" she spat the name cruelly.

"How you know my name?" Clarke asked still struggling.

Nia smiled again "If you continued with this actitude, your mother will pay for it"

A man put a sharp knife over Abby's neck. Clarke looked helplessly at her mom and then at Nia.

"No, please" she pleaded "Let her go"

Nia smiled and got closer to Clarke. She was observing her. Running her cruel, cold eyes along her. Clarke flinched under her gaze.

"I know now what _Leksa_ sees in you" Nia said with a smile.

Clarke glared at Ice Nation queen and then lowered her gaze.

"I have a mission for you, Clarke of the Sky people" Nia said suddenly.

Clarke rose her gaze to stared at the woman in front of her "A mission?"

Nia licked her lips with a cruel smile "I want you to go to see the commader" her clear eyes shinning with malice "And bring me her head"

Clarke almost let out escape a gasp. She composed herself "No" she growled angry.

Nia smiled "I knew you would say that" she said barking an order in trigedasleng to one of her men.

The man grabbed Abby by her hair and pulled her head back putting a knife on her exposed neck. Abby whimpered barely when the blade grazed her skin and closed her eyes tightly.

Clarke wanted to stand up, to fight, but she was helpless and tied up. She glared at the Ice Nation queen "Please no" she begged.

" _Leksa's_ life in exchange of you mother's" Nia announced towering over the blonde "A fair deal"

Clarke wanted to cry and yell. But she didn't. She felt tears burning in eyes but she put them back. She glared at Nia again "Fine" she hissed.

 

***

 

Lexa could feel her left arm throbbing in pain with every step she was taking. It was beyond all bearing but she kept walking. Two tarckers were ahead her looking for any trail of the Ice Nation people. 

One man raised his hand "Heda" he called with deep voice.

Lexa ran to his side. The man pointed at the mud with his finger and Lexa knelt by his side. She observed the treads with her jaw clenched.

"What's that?" Bellamy asked behind her. He was carrying a riffle.

"A trail" Lexa said simply "Is fresh"

"You think they're around here?" Octavia asked.

Lexa looked up at the road where the treats got lost and clenched her fist, feeling another stab of pain in her left arm. She knew that road.

"Commander?" Marcus asked worried.

"They're probably near the mountains" Lexa said standing before giving orders to her men in her native language.

The men nodded and disappeared into the forest. Lexa turned back to Indra.

"The caves?" the woman asked seriously.

Lexa nodded slightly.

"What's that mean?" Bellamy asked confussed looking from Lexa to Indra "What's going on?"

"The caves get lost under the mountains" Indra explained "It's a labyrinth. An inmense one"

"Well?" Bellamy said decided "Let's go down there"

Lexa looked at the boy. Her face serious, uncommunicative.

"That's not possible" Indra said "Many of our people had lost their lives down there. Is cold, dark and inexplorable. We doesn't even know where it ends. If it ends somewhere"

Bellamy looked taken aback "Are you gonna left them there without fighting?" he asked Lexa.

Lexa clenched her jaw "I'm not gonna left them. I'm gonna find them"

"Heda" Indra said in disbelief.

"Guide the vanguard, Indra" Lexa instructed before turning around ready to leave.

"No Heda!" Indra exclaimed surprising everyone, even Lexa who turned around to look at her second "There's only death down there"

Lexa swallowed accepting her fate. She ran her eyes along those who were there. Bellamy, Indra, Octavia, Marcus and many of her soldiers and warriors. She wasn't leaving Clarke to the torture and death. Not as long as she had some strength to fight. Or even losing all her strenght, she would never leave Clarke to die. She would give her life in exchange. She knew Nia would accept it.

Lexa raised her chin clenching her jaw and turned around again. The mountains were waiting for her.

"I'll go with you" Bellamy said walking beside Lexa.

"No" Lexa declared without looking at him.

"What?" Bellamy said in disbelief.

"Protect your sister. Protect your people. A war is coming" Lexa said still walking.

Bellamy stopped dead in his tracks. He looked behind him and then at Lexa walking away. He sighed and returned to his people.

Some birds flew away from their trees suddenly startling everyone. Lexa looked at birds and draw her sword stopping and looking and listening around.

Indra took her sword too, so did Lincoln, Octavia and the grounders. Marcus and Bellamy pointed their guns to nowhere exactly. They were all waiting. A crack made them stiff and look at the road where Lexa was standing with the sword on her hand.

Lexa gulped. She knew someone was coming. She tightened her hold around the handle of her sword and waited. When someone appeared staggering on the road, eyes blindfolded and hands tied up behind the back, Lexa almost felt her knees giving up.

"Clarke" she breathed out. She ran to the blonde who fell on her knees in front of her. She took off the binding on her eyes kneeling in front of the blonde and Clarke blinked a few times before focusing her blue eyes on Lexa's concerned face.

"Clarke" Lexa repeated cupping the blonde's face with her hands gently. When the commander saw those blue eyes staring back at her she felt so relieved. She could almost felt her heart beating out of control inside her chest. She grabbed her dagger and moved to cut the ties on the blonde's wrists. She returned to look at Clarke again "Are you ok?" 

Clarke just nodded and Lexa helped her to stand up. Bellmay and the others ran to the girls.

"Clarke!" Bellamy said hugging the blonde.

"Where's Abby?" Marcus asked looking behind the blonde.

Clarke pulled back from the hug and looked at Lexa briefly before lowering her gaze "She have her"

"We..we'll find her" Marcus said.

Lexa grabbed her sword again "Indra" she called her second.

The woman went to the commander's side and they began to walk.

"Wait" Clarke said grabbing Lexa by the arm "Where do you go?"

Lexa stared at the blonde. The worry was covering her face "We'll save your mother, Clarke" Lexa explained gently "Go to the camp and rest"

Clarke felt how her heart melt and broke at the same time. She swallowed feeling sick in the stomach. The moment she saw Lexa's face, her green eyes staring back at her, she knew she was lost.

"No" she said weakly "No. Nia want to make a deal"

Lexa frowned looking at the blonde "What kind of deal?"

Clarke shook her head "I don't know" she swallowed again "She said she want to talk with you and me. Only the two of us"

Lexa contemplated Clarke for a moment. She could feel how the blonde's hand on her arm was shaking a little. Her blue eyes were filled with doubts and something more she couldn't read.

"That sounds like a trap to me" Octavia said.

"True" Bellamy added.

Lexa was still looking at Clarke, who finally left her arm go. The blonde lowered her gaze again, like she was unable to continued looking at Lexa anymore.

"She really told you she wants a deal, Clarke?" Lexa asked.

The blonde rose her eyes to the brunette. She gulped and nodded.

Lexa swallowed and nodded too "If that deal help us to save your mother" she began "I'll take it"

Clarke's blue eyes shined with unshed tears. She hated herself for what she was going to do. And for what she felt for Lexa.

 

***

 

The sky was growing darker with each step. Clarke was feeling numb.

She was feeling miserable. It was insufferable. Even after Lexa had betrayed her and left her and her people on Mount Weather she didn't even think about killing her. Not even then. Not even when she saw her face again in the commander's tent, when she had slapped her angrily.

The blonde put her hand over the dagger Lexa gave her before parting. Even in a negotiation she would need to be armed, Lexa had told her.

"Careful" the brunette whispered softly putting her hand over the blonde's arm "There's tree roots there" she pointed with the other hand "You could fall"

Clarke looked at Lexa. Her face was as soft as her words. She was making this a million times more difficult that already was.

"Thank you" Clarke said honestly.

"You should drink" Lexa said offering the canteen.

Clarke shook her head "No, thank you"

Lexa sighed looking at the blonde seriously "You haven't drink or eat since we found you, Clarke" her tone was worried.

Clarke wished Lexa were cold, heartless, evil...Not so caring, gentle and kind like she really was. She wanted Lexa to make this easier, but it was more and more difficult every second.

"I just want to save my mother" Clarke said walking and leaving Lexa a few steps behind. It wasn't a lie after all. _Her life in exchange of your mother's_ She closed her eyes remembering the deal.

"What did she promise you?" Lexa asked making Clarke to stop suddenly.

The blonde turned around with surprise.

Lexa walked slowly to Clarke "Once you kill me, I mean"

Clarke looked taken aback. She couldn't even talk.

"Your mother's life in exchange of mine?" Lexa said softly "A peace offer? It's all lies" her voice was calm.

Clarke looked down unable to hold the commader's gaze. She took off the dagger from her waist. The dagger Lexa gave her.

"You better do it fast" Lexa said. She grabbed the blonde's hand gently and put the blade on her neck looking deeply into blue eyes.

Clarke gasped and felt her eyes watering.

"A clean cut" Lexa said holding the blonde's gaze "Deep and quick. From side to side" she said guiding the blonde's hand along her neck showing her the way to kill her "Don't hesitate" her green eyes were soft, no trace of anger or recrimination.

Clarke was shaking. She gulped. She needed to save her mom. She looked at Lexa's eyes one more time. Her lower lip tremble "I can't" she whispered.

Lexa still had the blonde's hand grabbed and the blade on her neck "Do it" the commander voice was so soft. 

Clarke gulped. The tears shinning in her eyes "I can't" she repeated shaking her head "I can't" she said one last time before moving away the dagger from Lexa's neck.

The commander observed how Clarke sobbed softly and fell to her knees. Lexa took breath and lifted the blonde from the floor "Come on" she said softly "We need to save your mother"

Clarke looked at the brunette confused and tearful "I'm...I'm not gonna kill you" she confessed honestly.

Lexa offered a gentle smirk. She took the dagger from Clarke's hand and grabbed a fist of her own hair. The blonde saw how the commander cut a fistful of her dark braided hair and then gazed at her giving her the dagger back.

"I have a plan" Lexa announced.


	4. Chapter 4

Her heart was hammering inside her chest. A thin rain was falling and the uneasiness was growing with every step.

Clarke pressed Lexa's fistful of hair to her chest trying to find some strength and comfort. The blonde saw them before even heard them.

3 imposing Ice Nation men appeared on the road in the middle of total silence.

Clarke gulped and tightened her hold around Lexa's hair once more time.

"Where is she?" one of the men asked.

Clarke raised the fistful of hair for the men to see it. They exchanged briefs looks between them and one of them got closer to the blonde. He just stood there towering over her with serious face.

"I killed her" Clarke announced.

"And where is her head?" the man asked.

"I'll only tell the Queen" Clarke replied.

The man laughed throatily and Clarke flinched at the sound.

"Show us" the man demanded "You won't see the Queen until we see her body"

Clarke clenched her jaw and glared at the man "Ok" she nodded "Now!"

The exclamation echoed through the valley and the men grabbed their swords.

"You're dead" the man pointed Clarke with his sword.

The sound of someone choking made the man to turn around. There was Lexa killing one of the soldiers while the other was already dead on the floor.

The commander fixed her green eyes on the man with a deadly glare.

The man exclaimed something in his language and ran to the commander waving his sword like a crazy.

Lexa jumped out of his reach and he stumbled before standing on his feet again. 

Lexa cut the air with her sword moving to the man. He eluded the attacks the best he could. The rain was starting to fall harder.

An arrow flew out of nowhere and landed at Clarke's feet. Soon more arrows were flying to Clarke and Lexa.

"Lexa!" Clarke yelled helplessly.

The commander was able to made a deep cut on the man's chest but he hit her on the wounded arm. Lexa yelped in pain and backed up evading the arrows. She ran to Clarke and jumped over her, protecting her and making both to fall on the ground.

"Run!" Lexa exclaimed jumping to her feet.

The blonde ran behind Lexa. She could feel tears in her eyes. She was sure her mother would die now.

"Follow me" Lexa instructed jumping down a little ditch.

Clarke followed her almost blindly. The rain was was falling hard.

They finally reached the feet of a tall rocky mountain. Clarke raised her eyes but she couldn't see the peak.

"We need to climb" Lexa said suddenly.

The blonde turned to the brunette "That's insane"

"We only need to reach a cave on that salient" Lexa pointed with her finger, but in the middle of the night, with all the rain, Clarke couldn't see it.

The began to climb up. They could heard the Ice Nation warriors on the valley, looking for them.

Clarke gripped the rocks and the cracks on the rocky wall gritting her teeth. She was exhausted and almost fell down when Lexa grabbed her arm sticking out of the cave. The brunette helped her to climb up the last distance and they entered inside the cavern on the wall.

A lightining struck near the trees down the cave. A roaring thunder followed. The Ice Nation warriors ran along the valley searching for the girls.

Lexa looked outside for a moment while Clarke rested against the rocky wall of the cave. The brunette glanced back at the blonde and gestured her to stay silent. 

After a while Lexa sat in front of Clarke with her back against one of the walls.

"We'll save her, Clarke" the commander promised.

But the blonde could feel her heart breaking inside her chest.

_I'm sorry, mom_ she lamented silently _I'm so sorry_

 

***

 

The wound wasn't looking that bad after all. But it was bleeding a little. Clarke sighed and began to cover it again. She bandaged Lexa's arm kneeling while the brunette was sitting on the cave's cold floor.

"I killed them all" Clarke said still looking at the wounded arm.

Lexa looked at the blonde with serious face.

"The people at Mount Weather" Clarke continued "Men, women, children..." she gulped "I killed them all"

"And you can't forgive yourself" Lexa said. It wasn't a question.

"How could I?" Clarke shook her head again.

"You saved your people" Lexa added.

"In exchange of thousands of innocent lifes" Clarke lamented.

Lexa swallowed "Being a leader means make hard choices, Clarke"

The blonde sat in front of the brunette. Her blue eyes avoiding Lexa.

"I'm a monster" Clarke lamented.

"You're not" Lexa said seriously "You did what you did for your people. Because they comes first"

Clarke gazed at Lexa. She was sitting there with her arm seriously wounded and still completely composed. Not a trace of pain, fear or tireness on her face.

"I'm not so strong like you, Lexa" Clarke said. Her words bitter.

"Yes you are" Lexa replied "You're the stronger person I've ever met"

Blue eyes fixed on green ones. Lexa was honest, Clarke knew.

"I will carry this weight on my shoulders forever. Nothing you say can change that"

Lexa clenched her jaw. She tore her gaze from Clarke and looked at the cave entrance. It was still raining outside.

"I made a deal with Nia" Lexa began still looking outside "It was necessary" she clenched her jaw again and looked at Clarke "Do you think I didn't want to kill her? To torture her? To made her suffer as much as she made Costia suffer?" Clarke stared at Lexa "But I needed to provide peace. For my people. For the 12 clans" she shook her head "They had enough wars. Enough blood had been spilled. I made the deal beacuse it was the right thing to do. My wishes, my desires...are secondary. My people comes first"

A thick silence fell between the two girls.

"I have done terrible things, Clarke" Lexa said after a long moment "I have killed many, too. Theres blood on my hands. I'm not proud of nothing of that. But I did what any commander would do. You have to put your heart apart sometimes...or you will go insane"

Clarke sighed and swallowed a lump in her throat "I understand why you did what you did, on Mount Weather" she began "I understand it, but I can't forgive you"

Lexa nodded slightly "I know" she admitted.

The silence fell between them again. Only the rain pouring outside was heard.

 

***

 

Everything was dark. Clarke was breathing with difficulty. Suddenly she saw it. Bodies. Men, women, children...they were all dead. And their skin melt in front of her eyes. Only bones was left. They became dust and she heard their screams and pleads. Clarke covered her ears and closed her eyes tightly. She tried to run away but the deads were in front of her, everywhere she looked. Their eyes were empty, accusing her. They opened their mouths and only blood spilled from them. Clarke wanted to scream and run, but she couldn't. She was surrounded. She was alone. Lost.

_Clarke_

A distant voice called her. She looked around trying to find a way to escape. 

_Clarke_

She swallowed and covered her ears "Please" she said weakly "No"

_Clarke_

The voice was more emphatic, more insistent. She felt an unexpected warm hand on her cheek and opened her eyes. 

Green. It was all she could see.

Warm, worried and deep. Green.

"Clarke" Lexa said with concern cupping the blonde's cheek, kneeling in front of her.

"No!" Clarke gasped and jumped to a sit position. Her vision blurred, her eyes watery.

"Clarke" Lexa said again.

The blonde's blue eyes focused in that darkness and saw it. Green. Lexa's eyes. Looking back at her with honest concern.

"It's ok" Lexa tried to calm her.

The blonde let out a shaky breath and shook her head. She sobbed softly, tears peeping in her eyes.

"It's ok, Clarke" Lexa repeated.

Without couldn't help it, the blonde closed the short distant and hugged Lexa who hugged her back after freezing for a moment.

"I saw them" Clarke said with trembling voice "The people on Mount Weather"

"It was just a dream" Lexa soothed her.

Clarke sniffed and buried her face into the crook of Lexa's neck. She closed her eyes. When she pulled back from Lexa's arms, the blonde licked her dry lips and shook her head.

"The guilt" she said weakly "is consuming me"

Lexa clenched her jaw. Even inside that dark cave, Clarke could see clearly the commander's green eyes.

"A true warrior doesn't let guilt to tear them apart" Lexa said seriously.

"I'm not a warrior" Clarke defended with surly voice.

"Maybe not" Lexa said clenching her jaw "But you have choose a warrior's life, Clarke. And you have to accept what comes with that life"

Clarke narrowed her blue eyes at the brunette "Don't give me lessons, Lexa" she said angrily "It's all your fault" 

Lexa stood there in front of Clarke completely impassive at the blonde's rage, but she knew Clarke was right. She had betrayed her. She had let her alone in that mountain.

"You're right, Clarke" Lexa said finally "It's my fault"

Clarke glared at the commander, feeling her blood boiling "It is" she hissed bitterly.

Lexa clenched her jaw "Don't blame yourself, Clarke. Blame me then"

Clarke narrowed her eyes again. She knew what the commander was trying, and that made her even more angry.

"Liberate yourself of that weight" Lexa said seriously "Blame me for it. I betrayed you. I abandoned you. It's my fault, Clarke"

Clarke was feeling how her breath was quickening. She was feeling herself raging with Lexa's words.

"Shut up!" Clarke outcried shoving Lexa away from her and standing.

Lexa stood too, still impassive "Put the blame on me" she declared.

Clarke glared Lexa deadly "The blame is all yours!" she screamed again, feeling like she was loosing her mind with anger "I should have let you die!" she exclaimed with watery eyes.

Lexa stood there. She felt her heart breaking at the blonde's words, but she couldn't let her see it "Let their blood on my hands, Clarke"

"Shut up!" Clarke yelled again walking to Lexa. She took off her dagger, the one that Lexa gave her.

Lexa didn't moved or even blinked seeing Clarke threating her. Clarke swallowed like she was having problems to breath.

"Stop" Clarke said with more calm voice "I know what are you doing. I know what are you trying" she licked her lips "You want me to blame you so I can forgive myself. But I can't" she sighed shakingly "I did what I did. And it's no one else's fault but mine"

Lexa observed Clarke silently. Deep down she was proud of the blonde. But she also wanted to reach her, to comfort her. Instead she just swallowed and clenched her jaw again. She put a soothing hand over Clarke's left one. The one grabbing the dagger. It was cold and shaking. The blonde's whole body was shaking.

"Clarke..." Lexa began when she heard a little noise outside the cave. 

The commander turned her head to the entrance. She glanced at Clarke and took off her sword. Clarke gulped and grabbed the dagger tightly.

"Stay back" Lexa whispered to Clarke before walking cautiously to the entrance.

Clarke held her breath for a moment. She knew that if the Ice Nation people had found them it was because of her.

Lexa took a slight look outside. The rain was pouring and it was dark. She heard a crack and tightened her hold on her sword.

"Lexa" Clarke whispered weakly.

Suddenly a huge man jumped over Lexa, knocking her to the floor. The commander tussled with the man gritting her teeth.

"Lexa!" Clarke called horrofied. She ran to her but another man entered the cave carrying a sharp knife and she walked backwards.

Lexa grunted and freed her right arm. She slayed the man's throat and pushed him off of her. She stood and put the tip of her sword on the other man's back.

_"Ste we kom em"_ Lexa growled. Her face and chest was covered in the dead man's blood.

The man fixed his malignant eyes on Clarke. He turned around to look at Lexa. He smiled viciously and looked at the entrace. Lexa looked back and saw more men entering. She positioned behind the man, putting her sword against his back again.

"Our Queen will be pleased to see you, commander" a tall woman said "And your friend too"

Lexa gulped. This wasn't going to end well.

A man tensed his bow and pointed at Clarke with the arrow. Lexa gazed back at Clarke briefly.

"Come with us" the woman said and pointed at Clarke "or she dies"

Lexa swallowed. She looked back at Clarke again. She closed her eyes tightly and dropped her sword. Clarke looked at Lexa in disbelief. 

The woman smiled _"Teik em"_ she ordered before leaving the cave.

The men put bindings over Lexa's and Clarke's eyes, tied their hands behind their backs and took them outside, under the rain.

Clarke blamed herself.

 

***

 

Lexa and Clarke were put on their knees after a long walk. Lexa was sure they had been walking a whole day. Their were drained, thristy and sore. 

Clarke was still blaming herself for this.

When the bindings were retired from their eyes, they blinked and tried to focussed their gazes. They were in a cave, Lexa was sure. They heard steps and looked up. 

_"Leksa"_ Nia said with her sharp voice.

"What's this, Nia?" Lexa said struggling with the ties behind her back.

Nia smiled coldly "I want to hear you, _Leksa_. Your screams of pain will fill this place"

"Untie me and we'll see who will scream in pain" Lexa threatened.

Nia licked her lips and looked at Clarke "Clarke of the Sky People" she said cruelly "I would like you hear you scream in agony too"

_"Bak op, Nia!"_ Lexa growled furiously.

Nia barked a sharp laugh "I'm gonna enjoy this, _Leksa"_ she spat. She made a tilt of her head to one of his warriors and they took Clarke to the front wall.

"Leave her!" Lexa said still struggling with the ties.

The men cut the ties on Clarke's hands. But they put them into two metallic handcuffs from a dusty chain digged in the rocky wall.

"No!" Lexa yelled standing before a man hit her legs from behind with his spear making her fall to the floor again "Don't do this, Nia!" Lexa said ignoring the pain and despair she was feeling.

Nia took off her long knife and hovered it over Clarke's scared face. She smiled at the blonde.

"My mother" Clarke whispered feeling tears in her eyes.

Nia smiled again "I will kill her after you" she declared "I want _Leksa_ to see you die first"

Clarke gulped and closed her eyes. She was ready to face her death. It was all her fault after all. She saw Lexa kneeling in front of her. Her green eyes watery and scared.

"I'm sorry" Clarke whispered to the commander.

Nia showed her white teeth in a scary grin and ran the blade of her knife over Clarke's cheek. The blonde closed her eyes. She would not scream. She would not give the Ice Nation queen that satisfaction.

_"Bants em!"_ Lexa exclaimed. 

Nia turned around.

_"Beja"_ Lexa pleaded.

Nia smiled with pleasure "The commander begging" she said amused "I never thought I could see it"

Lexa swallowed hard and licked her lips. She gazed at Clarke who was staring back at her.

"You want to save her, don't you?" Nia said putting her knife on Clarke's neck and pressing the blade against the skin. Clarke closed her eyes and winced.

_"Hod op!"_ Lexa yelled. She was shaking, there on her knees _"Teik ai sonraun!"_ her green eyes were shining with tears.

Nia sucked in breath at the commander's words. She wasn't expecting that.

_"Breaik em au"_ Lexa licked her lips. She stared at Nia _"Ai sonraun gon emon"_

Nia was surprised. She tilted her head _"Yu ste kwelen, Leksa"_ she spat with a cruel grin _"Chit ste em gon yu?"_ she asked raising her chin _"an baga, an veide"_

Lexa closed her eyes gulping.

_"Oyu kwelnes"_ Nia finally said delighted.

Lexa lowered her gaze.

Clarke couldn't understand a single word, but she was sure Lexa was offering some kind of deal to Nia.

Nia laughed soflty "I can't believe it, _Leksa_. After what I did to Costia" she shook her head "You're still so weak"

Lexa looked at Clarke. At her blue eyes looking back at her with fear, with hope, with pain.

_"Hodnes laik uf, Nia"_ Lexa declared still looking at Clarke _"No kwelnes"_

Nia was growing angry _"Ai na frag em op"_ she said hovering over Lexa "What you think about that, _Leksa?"_

Lexa swallowed quickly "I think I'm going to kill you" she said deadly serious.

Nia scoffed and turned to Clarke again. Lexa took the oportunity and jumped to her feet. She had finally loosen the ties on her wrists. She put herself behind an Ice Nation man and took the knife from his belt putting it on the man's neck.

Nia turned to look at Lexa startled. She twisted her mouth in a angry grimace.

_"Shof op"_ Lexa ordered through gritted teeth "Free her"

Nia licked her lips. She shaking with anger. She turned around and Lexa threw her knife to the queen's hand. Nia yelped and loose her knife.

Lexa covered herself with the man she was holding, while the others warriors shoot arrows at her. Lexa shoved the already dead man to the others and ran to Nia. She took the Queen's sword and put the blade over her pale neck. She glared at the warriors in front of her.

"Free her" she repeated coldly.

The warriors looked at their Queen and she just nodded once. One of the men released Clarke.

"Her mother" Lexa demanded "Bring her here safe" she pressed the sword's blade hader into Nia's neck cutting the skin a little and causing a thin blood thread to ran down the Queen's neck.

"Do it" Nia barked to her men.

One of them disappeared and the rest stood there glaring at Lexa and Clarke.

"Lexa" Clarke said brokenly.

"Once your mother is here" Lexa said with her green eyes fixed on the fierce warriors in front of her "You two must run as fast as you can. Go to Arkadia, warn your people and guide them to Mount Weather"

Clarke's blue eyes were flooded with tears as she observed the commander.

The Ice Nation men came back pulling Abby with him. She had her hands tied up and her mouth covered. The woman cried when she saw her daughter.

"Cut her ties" Lexa growled coldly.

The men did as he was told and Clarke ran to Abby, helping her to walk outside that damn cavern.

Clarke looked back one last time. She wanted to see Lexa's face. To see her for the last time.

When the blonde was about to turn around and leave she saw a woman with a bow appearing behind Lexa and Nia.

"Lexa! Behind you!" the blonde screamed.

Lexa turned around using Nia as a shield. The arrow flew from the bow and impacted the Ice Nation Queen on the shoulder. She yelled rabidly and Lexa pushed her to the woman before she could recovered.

"Run!" Lexa yelled to Clarke and Abby, running behind them.

The day was grey and cloudly and the they had to blink many times before focusing her eyes on the forest surrounding them.

Lexa was breathing laboriously and looked back before gazing at Clarke "Run now, Clarke. Don't look back"

"No" Clarke shook her head while the tears fell down her cheeks "No, Lexa"

The commander licked her lips "I'm glad to have met you" she said with a hint of a smile.

"No, Lexa" Clarke pleaded "Come with us"

Lexa took a long breath "Save your people, Clarke. And help mine" she nodded before turning around without looking back.

"No, Lexa!" Clarke's voice broke. She was openly sobbing now.

"Clarke" Abby called her daughter "We need to go"

The blonde cried and glanced at Lexa walking away and disappearing into the valley one last time.

"May...we meet again" she whispered shakingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation
> 
> Ste we kom em - Stay away from her
> 
> Teik em - Take them
> 
> Bak op, Nia! - Stay back, Nia!
> 
> Bants em! - Leave her!
> 
> Beja - Please
> 
> Hod op! - Stop!
> 
> Teik ai sonraun! - Take my life!
> 
> Breaik em au - Free her
> 
> Ai sonrain gon emon - My life for hers
> 
> Yu ste kwelen, Leksa - You are weak, Lexa
> 
> Chit ste em gon yu? - What is she for you?
> 
> An baga, an veide - An enemy, an invader
> 
> Oyu kwelnes - Your weakness
> 
> Hodnes laik uf, Nia - Love is strength, Nia
> 
> No kwelnes - Not weakness
> 
> Ai na frag em op - I'm gonna kill her
> 
> Shof op! - Be quiet!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay with this fic, but I've been really busy to finish it earlier. Next chapter is the last.

After running for several minutes Clarke and Abby stopped to catch their breath.

Clarke glanced back feeling like she have been kick in the chest. It was so hard to breathe knowing that Lexa maybe...

"Clarke, we need to move" Abby said "We need to warn everyone and go to Mount Weather like Lexa told you"

 _Lexa_

Clarke licked her lips and shook her head "She might be hurt" she began making her mother to frown "She might be dead"

Abby got closer to her daughter and caressed her cheek softly "There's nothing you can do. Let's keep going"

Clarke shook her head again "No" she whispered gently "No" she repeated more strongly looking at her mother with decided face "Go to Arkadia and warn everyone. I'm going back to find her"

"Clarke you...you are out of your mind" Abby protested "What can you do? Nothing"

"I can be by her side" Clarke said convinced "I can--"

"You can die!" Abby had tears in her eyes "Don't you see it? You can do more good coming with me"

Clarke's lower lip quivered softly "I don't care" she whispered "She might need help, and even if I can't help her I'll be there. You...you don't understand" she stared at her mom witha pleading look "She needs to see me, even if it just for a last time"

The blonde began to walk back to the caves but Abby grabbed her arms and turned her around "Goddammit Clarke!" she sobbed throught gritted teeth "Why are you doing this? Why her?"

Clarke offered a watery smile "Because...she's special"

Abby observed her daughter in disbelief and Clarke kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly before whispering "Take care of them and take care of yourself. I love you" then she walked away leaving Abby froze in place with tears running down her cheeks.

 

***

 

The open wound in her arm sting and hurt beyond words, but Lexa stood serene and proudly at the entrace of the caves waiting for Nia. The Ice Nation queen had a deadly glare on her eyes and her mouth twisted in a malicious smile.

"I have to say I admire you, _Leksa_ " Nia began walking slowly to the commander, a few of her warriors behind her "You're stupidly brave. Or maybe simply stupid" he warriors howled and laughed.

"I have something to offer you, Nia" Lexa said.

Nia smiled pleased "You have nothing that's not mine already. Everything belongs to me now"

"No" Lexa grabbed the pome of her sword more firmly "Not everything"

Nia stared at the commander with curious eyes.

"You want my head? It's yours" Lexa declared making Nia to smile widely "But with one condition. A fight to death. You and me"

Nia barked a cold laugh "Why would I lost my time like that? I have places to destroy and people to kill"

"You'll have to kill me first" Lexa declared with determination.

"Oh I will" Nia grabbed her sword despite her wounded shoulder that was bleeding slowly.

"If you win" Lexa started "You have my head. If I win" she pointed Nia with her sword "You die and your people will kneel before me and vow to honor my coalition"

Nia smiled again finding all that very funny "You have my word"

"Your word worths nothing" Lexa spat and Nia grew serious.

"The time for talk is over" Nia growled. She barked orders at her warriors, telling them to no intervene in the fight.

Lexa exhaled shakingly and rised her green eyes to the sky. It was grey and cloudy. If only she could see the stars. If only she could see _her_ one last time.

The commander swallowed and sent a slient plea, a prayer, to whoever high power that could listen to her.

_Please Clarke be safe. Please live and be happy. Please forgive me_

Lexa took a long breath and fixed her eyes on Nia.

"Time to die, _Leksa_ " the queen declared.

The Ice Nation warriors began to chant and howl as Lexa and Nia moved in circles in front of each other.

Lexa delivered the first blow. Nia had problems resisting the commander's sword due to her wounded shoulder but gritted her teeth and fought back.

Lexa eluded the sword. Once, twice. She was too tired and weak. And the cut on her arm was open and oozing blood down to her fingers.

She gulped and panted. She couldn't survive only eluding and avoiding the Ice Nation queen's sword.

Nia smirked knowingly and launched herself against Lexa with a loud scream. The commander backtracked stumbling but was able to stop the blade with her own sword.

Nia and Lexa's faces got closer. The Ice Nation queen growled and Lexa gritted her teeth before hitting Nia on the face with her fist with all she had.

A loud cry echoed through the valley as Nia stepped back with blood on her mouth. The queen glared at Lexa and spat a patch of blood onto the mud. Then she offered a bloody smile "Good one"

Lexa clenched her jaw and attacked in full force making Nia to move back to almost having her trapped against the immense rock walls.

Lexa wielded her sword with a growl cutting Nia over the chest. The Ice Nation queen left a loud cry and spat some of the blood from her broken lip to Lexa's face.

The commander closed her eyes for a second, but that was enough for Nia to cut her elbow and made her fall on her back with her on top.

"You don't know how much I'm gonna enjoy this!" Nia exclaimed looking down at Lexa "To finally kill you!"

Lexa stared at Nia sitting over her stomach, with her face bloody and her berserk expression, practically drooling like a wild animal over her.

The commander noticed with despair how her sword felt from her hand and she couldn't reach it.

Nia rised her sword to deliver her last blow _"Wan op!"_

Lexa grunted and grabbed Nia's injured shoulder with both hands. She pressed and twisted her fingers there making Nia scream and loose the grip on her sword.

Lexa hit Nia on the face with her fist but the queen closed her hands around the commander's neck.

Lexa tried to fight, jerking her legs and hitting Nia over the face again and again, but her vision began to blurred and her lungs to collapse. She tried to breath but was slowly slipping out.

Closing her eyes she saw what she loved the most. Blue eyes staring back at her. She felt her body relax and giving up.

 _Lexa_

She could even hear her voice. She was calling her.

_Lexa_

She felt her soft lips on her, and her fingers along her hair, and her warm skin pressed against hers, and everything was peaceful and happy.

A couple of tears fell down from her eyes and into the mud where she was lying, and dying.

_Lexa_

_Lexa_

_Lexa_

"Lexa!" Clarke exclaimed. It was her, it was her voice, she was there, and the commander opened her eyes.

"Clar...ke" she choked out.

Nia was still strangling her but Lexa found some new strength again and hit the queen's shoulder, but she was too weak. So she finally introduced her index finger inside the hole the arrow left on Nia's shoulder.

The queen yelled desperately and eased her hold on Lexa's neck, giving her the chance to push her from her body and to roll into her stomach.

Lexa took big, long breaths and saw Clarke standing there with tears in her beautiful blue yes. The commander's lips quirked in a almost imperceptible smile. "Clarke" she whispered hoarsely while crawling weakly to her. The mud smudging her face and body. 

If she was going to die it would be by her side, looking at her face.

Clarke cried and tried to reach her but two Azgeda men grabbed her. Then Lexa came back to her senses. If she died Clarke would die too. Nia would made sure of it.

The commander gritted her teeth and stood clumsily, first on her knees and then on wobbly legs. She turned around to see Nia on her knees bleeding profusely from her shoulder.

Lexa was still gasping for air but grabbed her sword again. She stumbled to Nia but the queen didn't even look at her. Her grey eyes were focused on...

Lexa turned around suddenly, right in time to hear Nia yell "Kill her!"

One of the men grabbing Clarke took his knife and moved it to the blonde's neck.

"No!" Lexa exclaimed.

But the blonde was faster and digged the dagger Lexa gave her, and that she had well hiden under her clothes, on the man's neck instead. The blood flooded and Clarke got herself free and began to run to Lexa.

It was absurd, hopeless. But she needed it. She needed her. It was the end, and they both knew it.

"Go away, Clarke" Lexa cried while she wrapped her arms around the also crying blonde "Save yourself"

"No" Clarke tightened her hold around the brunette as she sobbed "I won't leave you"

Lexa pulled back and cupped one of the blonde's cheeks tenderly. Clarke rested her hand over the commander's one. Both lost into each other teary eyes.

"I--" Clarke began but couldn't continuate because Nia grabbed Lexa by her injured arm and hit her in the face with a hard punch making her to fall over the mud.

The Ice Nation queen then stood in front of Clarke with a disgusted grimace on her pale face.

"Idiot" she grunted before grabbing Clarke by her shirt and putting the blade of her short knife over the blonde's forehead. The cut was not deep but drawn blood and made Clarke cry in agony.

"I'm gonna remake that pretty face of yours" Nia growled cutting deeper before moving the blade to one of Clarke's eyes. The queen smiled happily but then her expression turned serious and a short gasp left her lips.

Clarke walked back freeing herself of the queen's vicious grip and observed how Lexa's sword blade was piercing through Nia's chest.

Nia looked down a the bloody sword crossing her chest and choked softly before Lexa twisted the blade making her scream and fall on her knees in front of Clarke.

 _"Yu gonplei ste odon"_ Lexa said removing the sword.

The Ice Nation queen fell onto her side. Her blood spilling out from her chest and mouth. Her eyes open and empty.

Lexa panted and looked around. The Azgeda people were standing there speechless and horrorified.

"The queen is dead!" Lexa began pointing her sword at them "You can kneel before me, vow to honor my coalition and respect the commander's peace!. Or you can die and join your queen!" her green eyes sparkled with fury.

Some Azgeda people ran away dropping their weapons, but the majority knelt bowing their heads.

"Heda!" some started to chant and then more joined.

"Heda! Heda! Heda!"

Lexa then turned to Clarke who was looking at her with tears in her eyes. The commander walked to her and the blonde hugged her closing her eyes.

Lexa pulled back a little to run a her thumb gently over the blonde's cut on her forehead.

"Clarke!" Abby said running to her daughter.

"Mom?" Clarke whispered confused gazing at her mother.

Lexa stepped back and observed how Abby and Clarke hugged.

"You really though I would abandon you?" Abby cried softly.

Clarke cried too and glanced at Lexa from over her mother's shoulder. She offered her a watery smile and Lexa did the same.

 

***

 

Clarke observed how Lexa didn't even winced while she sew the wound on her arm. The commander looked absent. She was quiet, silent and avoiding all eye contact with the blonde. From time to time she clenched her jaw.

Clarke couldn't help but feel sad about it. She wanted to look into the commander's green eyes and find comfort in them again. To feel the warmness and the careness she always offered her.

Clarke stared at the brunette's profile. She felt a rush of sadness, of regret, of love, of longing. All at the same time. She wanted to say something, to reach her, but she felt her mother's voice and returned her eyes to the wound.

Abby observed Clarke and nodded "Very good" she said.

"I'm finishing" Clarke announced somehow sadly.

Abby nodded again and decided to leave the nursery.

Lexa's eyes were fixed on the wall. Soft and sad "Thank you" she finally said.

Clarke's eyes rose up to look at the brunette's profile again "It's nothing" she swallowed noticing how hard it was "What are you going to do now?"

Lexa swallowed too, feeling a sudden lump in her throat "Polis" she said simply, her eyes still on the wall "Many important things need to be discussed and decided. All the clans will be there"

Clarke nodded. She cut the black thread and began to bind up Lexa's left arm.

"You still can come" Lexa said turning her head to look at Clarke "If you want"

The blonde felt her breath caugh in her throat but she avoided the brunette's gaze and focussed on the task on binding her arm. Lexa extended a tentative hand and traced the blonde's scar on her forehead softly with her fingertip. 

Clarke left out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. When she opened then again she saw them. Lexa's green eyes. Staring back at her. Silently comforting her. Clarke wanted to cry, to scream, to take Lexa in her arms. But instead she finished the binding and turned her back to the brunette. She began to gather all the medical props trying hard to pass down the lump in her throat.

Lexa jumped down the stretch and began to put on her dark shirt. Her eyes darting back to Clarke's back. She felt a insupportable flood of sadness running through her. And she knew it. She knew she was weak. She was ruined forever. She clenched her jaw and put her sword on her waist ready to leave.

"Lexa" Clarke's voice was a soft whisper, almost like a prayer. And Lexa closed her eyes for a second before turning around to face the blonde.

Clarke didn't know what to say or why she had called Lexa. Maybe she just wanted to see her eyes one more time. Or maybe she wanted to remember the commander's face and print it forever in her mind. She remained silent and laced her hands looking down at them, unable to keep the brunette's gaze.

"I know I'm not worthy of you, Clarke" Lexa spoke bringing the blonde's blue eyes to her "After what I did"

Clarke inhaled, feeling how difficult was to breath in that moment. She felt her chest heavy and in pain. Lexa's words pierced her heart like a sharp knife.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness" Lexa's words and eyes were soft and gently and absolutely honest. Her green eyes lingering on Clarke's blue eyes for a moment.

Clarke felt her throat dry. She licked her lips without knowing what to say.

"May we meet again" Lexa said before turning around and leave.

Only then, Clarke breathed out and left the tears fell down from her eyes.

 

***

.

Lexa didn't saw Clarke that foggy morning when she and her people left Arkadia. The commander's green eyes searched for the blue ones across the multitude, but Clarke was nowhere to be seen.

Lexa got up on her horse suddenly feeling a stab of pain in her left arm. But it wasn't only the arm that was hurting. She could felt her heart broken-down. And she even felt how hard was breathing, like her lungs had collapsed. She took a long breath to calm down and looked one last time at the people of Arkadia. But she didn't saw her. It was over. She turned her horse to the way and began to ride. Much to her dismay, she could feel tears burning in her eyes. She shook her head energetically and tightened her eyes closed. No. She wouldn't cry. No until she was alone.

 

***

 

Abby found Clarke sitting motionless in her room. The blonde had a dagger grasped tightly in her left hand. But her eyes were looking at the floor and her shoulders drooping.

"Clarke" Abby said bringing the blonde's deary gaze to her "Are you ok?" she asked worried "You weren't outside for the grounders parting"

Clarke licked her dry lips and nodded. She hadn't been strong enough to see it. To see Lexa go away. Perhaps forever. She closed her eyes with a low sigh and tightened the grasp around the dagger. Lexa's dagger.

Abby glanced at the dagger with a frown.

"She gave it to me" Clarke spoke softly like reading her mother's mind "Lexa"

Even saying her name sent a flood of pain and sadness through her body. 

Abby saw how Clarke rubbed her thumb absently over the dagger's handle. The woman sighed and sat beside her daughter, over the edge of the bed.

"Clarke" Abby said gently pushing a strand of blonde hair from her daughter's face "Tell me why are you like this. Tell me what happened between you and Lexa"

Clarke gazed at her mother briefly and looked away swallowing.

Abby sighed again. She put her hand over the hand Clarke had the dagger.

"I though you hated her" Abby said.

Clarke swallowed again "I hated her" she said shrugging "And I hate myself for it. I hate myself because I can't hate her. Because I...I..." she felt a lump in her throat and felt her eyes watery.

Abby nodded, finally understanding many things. She caressed her daughter's hair gently "Whatever you're feeling" she soothed "You should tell her. Let out everything you have inside" Clarke locked eyes with her mother "Before is too late, honey"

Clarke opened her mouth so say something, but closed it again "I can't" she lamented.

"Why not?" Abby asked.

Clarke closed her eyes. The first image she saw was her eyes. Beautiful, expressive green eyes. Eyes that pierced her to her soul. Eyes that she would give anything to look at it again. Eyes that were now part of her dreams, part of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation 
> 
> Wan op! - Die!
> 
> Yu gonplei ste odon - Your fight is over


End file.
